Oh hai. I am in fact alive, my friends. You probably already knew that based on the occasional post, but still going strong with Instagram “stories”, right?
I told myself that 2015 would be the year I slow it down, and find the balance. But guessss what?! I’m struggling with this daily. Hell, I am at the point where I struggle hourly with it, if I’m being honest.
+ Work has been insane
[for like a whole year now]. My day job is not difficult, per se, but mentally it can be exhausting to remain cheerful, nice, polite, etc while dealing with customers, as well as co-workers. I told you all about a year ago, I joined a new team within the same department, and while I wouldn’t say I am overly passionate about the corporate world of healthcare by any means, I put all my heart into this new team. That got me thinking outside of the box, and an award/trip to Minnesota last November.
But I am beyond burnt out. I have been told “good things are coming”, and that’s nice and all, but at some point I decided that I didn’t care what good things were supposedly coming my way, and it was time to try and move on.
I started applying for positions in other departments. Before I received an official offer, my boss, and my boss’s boss asked if there was anything they could do to make me stay. To hear that in such a large corporate world with the entry-level position that I have is a pretty big deal. I felt/feel loyal to my position, and had to think about what I wanted.
I thought so much about it, that the next day on my way out of the house I backed into my husband’s car. Like legit sat in the driveway after hearing the “crunch” and couldn’t figure out what I had hit! It was bad – my mind, not the cars. That was my sign that it was time for me to move on. I also coincidentally drank tea from this mug the day I made the decision to be a big girl and tell the bosses that I needed to see what other opportunities were available to me.
…and several hours later, I received a job offer!
+ I attempted to run my first 5k of 2015. I sucked. I sucked so hard, ya’ll. It was terrible. I hadn’t been training like I was last year, and it showed. So what did I do? Signed up for another 5k in 3 weeks; I’ll be alone too since Jason will need to study for finals. Who am I that I sign up for runs alone? I guess even though I was disappointed in myself for “running” so badly, that I found the motivation I needed to improve.+ I know a lot of the stress I have that causes me to not want to work out is my job. I’m drained and don’t want to do anything after work. I make myself go out with friends, and stay busy which is a nice distraction, but I’m starting to think I keep busy so I don’t truly have to focus on whatever my actual shit is in my head.
+ I’ve received some ah-mazing paid opportunities lately for the ol’ blog. It takes a lot of my time though, and I have thought about scaling back. But I love that a hobby is “work” I occasionally get paid for, or invited to. Then again, I’m fairly certain if I had more time, I could blog full-time and quit the day job…
…basically it all comes back to balance. Taking the time I should take for myself [and my marriage], for my home, and family, friends, and hobbies. How do people do it all?
I think each month I’m going to make some concrete goals, and blog em’…more to keep myself accountable, but also because I do enjoy seeing your goals each month. Would that be something you’d be interested in reading?
I know we’re all busy, so I don’t want anyone thinking I am one of those people who is just sooo busy, and no one can relate. I know that isn’t the case, and I would never want it to be. This is just where I’ve been, and why I have been mostly absence. This kid needs some balance!
Thanks for reading. xoxo