I knew it was coming. Do you ever feel like you’re just going, and going, and going and you know something needs to change but you can’t stop it? That’s how I felt for a few weeks, and then last week, my body made me slow down. I went to the doctor and was told I have bronchitis – no one else around me has it; not my husband, not co-workers, or friends. Just me (isn’t that weird???). I have had no choice but to slow down. Sadly, even writing this blog post took two days to write, because I got tired halfway through.
+I’m not used to having a husband who is home so much. At first it was awesome! We took a few trips, spent loads of time together, and hung with our friends. But then my new 9-5 had assignments and I was trying to get into a routine with that, and the ol’ blog needed my attention. I was feeling like I couldn’t balance being an attentive wife, a full-time employee who blogs (as a business – more on that later), while trying to keep the house clean. Never mind working out. I wasn’t eating well, either. Again, I knew things had to slow down but wasn’t sure how to. Like I felt as though I couldn’t stop the train…
I’ve always been honest and real on the blog about my marriage (for that’s how this blog came to be in the first place, right?!), and all my busy was hard on us as a couple. I’ve talked about how Jason going to law school helped our marriage. I had to find my own interests after several months of depression over the fact that my new husband was never home. But right now he’s home, though very soon we’ll be back in the swing of our own routines as Jason begins the Fall semester. I feel like I embraced our time together 110% in May/June, but then I didn’t want to lose myself again and what I have been working for with my blog, which at this point, I almost consider a second job.
It’s not like Jason needs my attention all the time. He’s a low maintenance guy. But he was as excited as I was to spend time together and hang this summer in a way we haven’t been able to in three years because of law school.
+I attend a lot of events during the week for bloggers. It is a lot of fun, but a lot of the time it is also work, and networking. So these last few weeks, I may attend an event for blogging, then another night or two after the day job make plans with Jason or friends. Then on weekends, we’re doing house ish, cleaning, hanging with friends, and I am trying to blog. I’m busting my ass, you guys. But my balance is all off. It also means I’ve kind of left the house and dogs to Jason so I could run out after work for these things. Which is also not fair.
As you can imagine, we had an ::ahem:: discussion about our relationship recently, and how I wasn’t really around much. I felt awful. He felt awful. Neither of us were used to this territory. We both said things I am sure we wish we could take back. My marriage is the most important thing to me, but having so much free time makes it hard sometimes to consider the other person. My husband and I will always be completely different people. We had our issues before we were married. We handle life differently, and we look at things differently. We don’t always communicate well. But we know what we have is always, always, always worth fighting for. He is worth fighting for. He is totes my lobster (points if you get that). What we have, will never be perfect, but so many people will spend their lives looking for what we do have (cheesy, I know), and at the end of the day, we’ll both always make us a priority.
+Starting August 1st, I am starting another round of the Whole 30. Mostly to get things back on track with eating, and a routine. I truly think everything in moderation (haha, with food and with life. Just put that together…wow) is healthy, but….all the above that I just mentioned? Yea, of course my eating habits have been bad. If you have never struggled with eating or balance with eating, then you can’t relate. But a lot of us do at one time or another. Do you know who explains it so much better than I ever could? Andie Mitchell (in this post).
Plus, I signed up for another 5k on Halloween. I have participated in several races in the last eighteen months, but have yet to fully run one. My goal is to run the entire 3.1 miles, and fueling my body properly is the way to get this going again.
…so that’s where we’re at this summer at Casa de Crews. Congrats if you made it to the end of this lengthy post! I’ll be back soon. You know once I’m not dying, and figure out how to balance my life better 😉